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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Late Night Thoughts

I really have nothing to write today because I was in my emotional breakdown. Again. I cried more than an hour because of a personal reason. But now, I feel so calm writing this. Like, it never happened. Maybe because I was too tired from all the crying, but I think it's also because I prayed and it made me feel better. Praying is good. Crying can also be healthy if you do it once in a while because it relieves your stress. It's also a sign that you're just a human, hahah..

One thing about me that I perceived as a good thing — but maybe not to some of you — is that I become more open and spontaneous. I used to keep all my problems by myself. Well, I still do that but not so often as I used to be. I used to think that to keep my feelings out of the way is the best way to live. But I was wrong because I hated it to live in that way. It was like I always put on a fa├žade to the world. It felt I wasn't being real to myself sometimes. 

By the time goes, I realize that I like to admit to people that if I'm happy then I'm happy and if I'm sad then I'm sad. No hiding, no shame. Because happy and sad are both feelings that necessary in order to have a balanced life. And always remember to tell personal stories in a right manner and appropriate time (and to suitable people) because, again, feelings and thinking have to balanced too in any kind of situations. :D (I mean, I can't just say that "I cried last night" to my professor, right?)

Don't let the society tells you what to do, what to like, what to wear, or even what to feel. Sometimes I feel the society can be deceiving. It tells you that everyone needs to go to college when I personally think that success can be achieved by anyone including those who doesn't go to college; It makes you believe that you will be happy by being in relationship but miserable by being single (which I completely disagree); it makes you to wear branded outfits because everybody is wearing them; It tells you to always have a happy life and when you feel sad then just shake it off right away, because somehow being "sad" is always seen as a bad thing. Just try to not let the society change who you truly are. Surround yourself with positive thinking people. Read a lot. Be inspired. Do what you want to do and like what you want to like. And always be YOU. :)

If anyone here ever feel worthless, trust me that everything is going to be okay at the end.. :) I often feel so insecure of myself (I'm still working on to fix it) and to realize that everything happens for a reason and going to be okay always make feel better. Because it always is. :D

If yesterday Mary was a pink Doraemon, today Mary is a gray Doraemon! ;) If you don't know what/who Doraemon is, Doraemon is a character from manga & anime series of Doraemon. When I said I am Doraemon, I'm referring to Doraemon's bamboo propeller (or what it's called in Indonesian, baling baling bambu) because I feel like I'm wearing one also. :D *you can tell I'm weird by thinking like this

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